"I fell in love with a baked potato..."

Day 20
Bongwater

1997

Wow. Where to start...

First of all, thank you to Liberty Hall for actually having this movie! And even more so, thank you for not visibly or audibly judging me when I went up to the counter to rent it. I was pretty embarrassed to have to rent with my own hard-earned money a movie whose cover consists of a giant close-up of some girl's jean-short clad butt. I mean, that's just never a good sign, right? And I can't for the life of me even begin to figure out how it actually relates to anything in the movie! But a Merethon is a Merethon....

Anyways, I felt this movie also warranted an attempt to round up the first ever Luke Wilson Merethon Film Review Panel! Unfortunately it was a very last minute idea and pretty much everyone already had something else better to do than watch Bongwater! (Shocking!) We did manage to field a small but feisty panel and it was a great success!! So, don't fret if you missed this gem of a flick. I will be calling upon you all again soon enough as the Merethon progresses.

I have to say, this was not the worst movie I've ever seen. In fact, it was able to do something that I didn't think was even possible!...It made me like Andy Dick.

Even if only for a couple hours, even if only in this one film, I was none-the-less shocked and pleasantly surprised by how much I genuinely enjoyed him in this movie.

And even fellow cast member Jack Black wowed me with one of his signature ridiculous, non-sensical songs. In fact, I had to break precedent with the title of this blog post and use part of his lyrics, as opposed to the usual quote from a Luke Wilson character.

Sadly, though, this is about where my appreciation for the movie stops. Ok, ok, I cannot overlook the fact that this film really seems to mark the beginning of Luke Wilson's golden-age era of attractiveness. Having lost the too long haircut of Bottle Rocket, he does quite well for himself here. But I digress...

I was shocked to see that Mark Mothersbaugh also contributed original music for this movie, too. Sadly, however, aside from picking up on a Marcy Playground track in the background of one scene, I can't say I really recall anything else about the music of this film.

It is also surprising to see so many actors in this movie that have since gone on to at least mildly successful acting careers. That they were able to find work after this movie at all is, well, surely a testament to something. Jack Black, Brittany Murphy, Jamie Kennedy, that guy who we all recognized, but each of us for a completely different reason--Jeremy Sisto. Personally, I recognized him from Law & Order. However, the fact that I haven't run across the faux-red-headed Alicia Witt-lady is, if nothing else, a great relief. She's just terrible.

Her character, Serena, is especially loathsome. The fact that the director, cast and crew actually expected an audience to believe that there's anything even remotely resembling a love story or "chemistry" at all between her and the Luke Wilson character, David, is really just insulting. It left the movie with little on which to hang a plot.

At this point I had planned to write about the reactions of the inaugural panel members, but Jenna, I honestly can't hardly read the quotes of yours that I wrote down!! Wait...ok. Here we go: "Somebody paid money to see this movie?! YOU paid money to see this movie!" Ok, two things: John did some research and I believe he said it never made it in to theatres. Secondly, it was a 99 cent rental at Liberty Hall ; )

Now, your second quote is the one I can't read and I'm really sorry because it sounds hilarious! It starts out with "Yeah, 'cause that's not a felony!" but, unfortunately I cannot remember what this is meant to reference!

John said at the end, "They didn't even need to tell you that this movie was taking place in Portland. Just watching you think, 'This seems like something that would happen in Portland."

Really, though, both of you should consider leaving a comment below, because I'm definitely not doing either of your opinions justice!! I blame the beer. Next time I will be more prepared. Written reviews from all panel members from here on out! : )

Alright, I think that's everything. Again, I'd stick to Mr. Burton's advice and check it out for yourself if you've really the mind to! Reality Bites it is not, though, so don't get your hopes up! It's at least good for a few laughs.

MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING: 1 out of 5 Stars
Bring a sandwich! ("As many sandwiches as you can carry!")*

*For those of you who may not know, this is in reference to the Sandwich Scale by which movies are rated on the level of sandwich-appropriateness. A person must ask him/herself, "Can I bring a sandwich to this movie?"

Or as John adds, "By reverse logic, could you rate a sandwich by whether or not you would take it to a movie? 'I love this turkey bacon ranch so much, I want to take it to the movies."

Up next...
Telling Lies in America