"No, that's not Sean Connery!"

Day 331
Legally Blonde 2:  Red, White and Blonde

Ok, where do I begin?

This movie was dis-a-ppointing. Perhaps having any positive expectations at all was where I went wrong...I wasn't sure I was even going to make it through the first 10 minutes. Luckily for all of us, it did improve, but not much.

Though quite similar in plot line and characters, Red, White and Blonde seemed to lack much of the wit and charm that made the first movie so entertaining. Basically, the shtick is up: she's blonde, she's unconventional, and she's in a sorority. Got it.
We also see Mr. Wilson's 'Emmett' become even more the goofy, supportive boyfriend that continually looks on with pride, sappily nodding while Elle gets things done. I'm pretty sure the screenplay directions must constantly say, "From back of room, look towards Elle while smiling proudly. Nod. Repeat. (Clap, if appropriate.)" I guess he's hard to dislike, but in the sense of like a really pretty, very supportive house plant, or something....

I don't think you're missing much if you stopped after the first film. If anything, I think this sequel just serves to highlight the better qualities of its predecessor. As in, 'Hey, remember when that was funnier in the first movie?'

And furthermore, staging a "Million Dog March" seems mildly insensitive, at best. It got a questioning, slanty-eyed head-shake from this lady, anyways.

But the pink suit and hat is undeniably killer.

And there was Bob Newhart. And 'Marcee' from Jerry Maguire! Damn, I loved that movie...

In any case, all involved should take some consolation in the fact that, if the first one hadn't been so good, this second effort wouldn't have been quite so dissatisfying in comparison. So, hey, 1 for 2.
Oh, but I'm 100% sold on the '"Snap Cup."

MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING:  2 out of 5 stars
The testing of sandwich products on animals remains strictly prohibited.  ("Regulations, Created Solely for Sandwich Scale." Code of Federal Regulations Title 660, Pt. 46. 8, 2011)

Up next...
Around the World in 80 Days


"Yeah, 'Oh, boy,' is right..."

Day 331
Charlie's Angels:  Full Throttle

I'm fulling capable and willing to 'suspend my disbelief' for the sake of a movie, but this one was really asking too much. The physics of this film are just all wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.


That aside, well.... There were a lot of famous people! Cameos-galore in this sequel. John Cleese. Even, the Olsen twins.

Yes, eldest brother Andrew also came back for round two, and even more entertaining-ly than last time. The part of Max, played by a poofy-haired Shia LeBeouf, made me nostalgic, yet again, for the days of  'Louis Stevens.'

Also, I'm not saying that I could do any better, but Justin Theroux should probably never attempt a feature-length film with an Irish accent ever again. Gross.

Bernie Mac, though quite entertaining as the new Bosley (fat-woman jokes aside), is no Bill Murray, and I was disappointed and confused as to why Mr. Murray had even been replaced. They probably explained that at some point... Admittedly, I watched this movie over the course of three different days. Let's just be grateful I finished it at all, ok?

Futhermore, most importantly, there was a severe lack of Luke Wilson in this flick. Not really even enough to write about, unfortunately.

To sum it up, this movie was just a bunch of star-studded, silly, over-the-top, highly-stylized, incredibly unrealistic, flashy, 'secret agent' nonsense.. And obviously, that was exactly the point.

MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING:  2 out of 5 stars
Maybe if you were to put the sandwich in your ear....Or your eyes? Or both?

Up next...
Legally Blonde 2:  Red, White and Blonde


"Swedes have no edge?"

Day 328
Alex & Emma

Admittedly, this movie started off with one stike already against it:  it was a gift, from one of my least favorite ex-boyfriends. (What, you don't rank them?)

That aside, I tried to give it a fair chance, and it was at least better than I remembered.

Alex & Emma is the story of a writer, Alex, (Mr. Wilson), who also happens to be a gambler. Deeply indebted to some loan-sharks, he must finish his next book, collect his pay, and pass it on to whom it is owed, all within 30 days. If he should fail, a team of thugs will kill him.

After the thugs pay him a visit and break his laptop to impress upon him the severity of their threats, he employs the unsuspecting stenographer, Emma, (Kate Hudson), to type his book as he dictates.

Overall, it's a pretty clever premise, a telling of a story the two characters write, and re-write, together as they go along. It makes for some decently charming and clever banter between 'Alex,' and 'Emma."

I also enjoy the opportunity given to the actors to play multiple characters. Or in the case of Ms. Hudson, half of the characters in the film. Luckily, she adds some essential bits of comedy in that capacity as well.

I can't say the plot produces the most exciting of outcomes, but it works. It's at least satisfying, if predictable.

MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING: 3 out of 5 stars
Ok, I don't know if you folks have been playing along at home at all, but we've still got 20 MOVIES and only 37 days to go! So, just keep those sandwiches handy, alright?

Up next...
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle


"Put in a good word for me."

Day 333
Old School

Before this blog entry quickly deteriorates in to me just typing all of my favorite quotes from Old School, let us just first establish that I really, really like this movie. Like, a lot. I can't help it.

There are certainly several parts that I could do without: Andy Dick's entire portion of the movie, the whole sleeping-with-the-boss's-underage-daughter-thing, KY-wrestling. Ya know, little things here and there that naturally offend my better sensibilities. But on the whole, this movie just makes me genuinely laugh. It's one of the few of Mr. Wilson's movies that I actually went out and purchased, on purpose, long before this 'merethon' ever began.

Mr. Wilson's 'Mitch' is a great character, and ultimately one of my favorites of his. However, this entire movie would obviously be nothing without the comedic abilities of Will Ferrell and Vince Vaughn. Not to mention Jeremy Piven, Craig Kilborn, Leah Remini, and Sean William Scott doing what they do best. The entire film is truly well-cast, except for maybe Ellen Pompeo, who I just find to be a bit underwhelming as 'Nicole.' I can't blame that on her entirely, though, as her character unfortunately doesn't really seem to give her too much to work with in the first place.

Anyways, it probably won't change your life, but it's definitely a very entertaining comedy. So, again, before I start rambling about streaking, or going to Bed Bath and Beyond ("I don't know if we'll have enough time..."), let me just repeat that I love this movie and call it good.

MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING:  4 out of 5 stars
All sandwiches welcome. No university affiliation required.

Up next...
Alex & Emma


[Bob Dylan mumbling incoherently...]

Day 322
Masked and Anonymous

I debated trying to watch this movie again, and finally decided that life is too short and I just don't want to. I fell asleep the first time and I don't hold out too much hope for a second attempt.

In my opinion, this movie could be more aptly titled "Rambling and Incoherent."

I understood very little of what was happening or why. Perhaps I'm just too low-brow and simple, but I didn't get it. I not entirely sure there was even anything to "get."

The only real point of entertainment for me came in the form of Val Kilmer's character rambling on about animals, or something.

In any case, I would liken this movie experience to being cornered on Mass. Street by a "crazy person," subjected to their rambling observations for a couple hours, and emerging no more enlightened or fulfilled for any of it.

It's no secret that I'm not Bob Dylan's biggest fan, but I certainly can't say with any sort of authority that his presence or influence truly hurt or helped this film. For all I know, maybe it could have benefited from having more of his influence, but I would bet not...

All I can say is that I think it's just a mess. Period. And not in any good, interesting or useful way.

Normally in this blog, I do not defer to the opinions of established critics, nor do I normally even read any reviews of the films I blog about. However, after attempting to write this review, I happened to read Roger Ebert's review, and cannot help but want to share. The man was dead-on in my book.

Ohhh well. At least I found the poster in Spanish again...

Let the Merethon move on.

MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING:  No stars for you, Bobby. 
Definitely killed my appetite....

Up next...
Old School
(apparently Mr. Wilson also needed something a little more low-brow after this one, too!)