"That sounds sleazy and this is not sleazy."

Day 309
The Third Wheel
2002


First of all, it's just the best day ever when I happen to find the movie poster in Spanish.

But secondly, I've found it's hard for me to really enjoy a romantic comedy when I can't quite convince myself to even like the main character or care about his fate. Luckily, The Third Wheel still somehow manages to deliver a watchable movie, even despite the confusing and less than charming personality of its leading man.

Mr. Wilson's 'Stanley' is just so close.

He starts off fairly well as a seemingly intelligent, funny and well-liked, if a little shy, coworker. However, once he finally manages to ask out "the girl of his dreams" at the office, he quickly goes from "a little shy," to a lot of awkward. But even more distracting is the undercurrent of seemingly unnecessary aggression he exudes once they finally set out on their first date. And worst of all, everyone else, his date being the most guilty, seem fairly unfazed by it throughout.

Maybe it's just a complete lack of chemistry on the part of Mr. Wilson and Denise Richards, but by the end of the movie, you can't really imagine why there should ever be a second date, despite Stanley's (fairly vapid) confessions about love and fate.

Homeless man, Phil, is probably the saving grace of this entire film. Jay Lacopo, as Phil, adds some real flashes of entertainment. I'd say the entire movie is almost worth seeing solely for his monologue on bread, or even the bus-riding song.

In any case, he's much more endearing than Stanley. Perhaps that was maybe the intention of the film's creators even, but they didn't really leave Stanley much room for redemption. It surely looked like way too little too late to this girl, anyway.

Speaking of endearing, this movie made very small use of its cast. Melissa McCarthy got some decent screen time, but Greg Pitts, and un-credited 'extras' Lauren Graham and Nicole Sullivan really could have come in handy to add just a little more humor here and there. To his credit, however, Ben Affleck manages to conjure some pretty entertaining banter with Mr. Wilson towards the first half of the movie. If only it could last...

I can't say this movie is a complete throw-away. There's at least an excellent surprise cameo (that I won't give away!) mid-movie that sort of made my day.

So, yeah. Maybe give it a shot. Why not?



MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING: 3 out of 5 stars (I'm feeling generous today)
Bring two sandwiches! It's a date movie, afterall...




Up next....
Masked and Anonymous (gag)

"Of course it's dark. It's a suicide note."

Day 296
The Royal Tenenbaums
2001




Hey, remember me? Yeah, I've really got to get movin' if we're going to finish this in time...

As much as I'd like to make some sweeping statement about how paternal relationships are particularly more complicated than most other relationships in life, that would obviously be assuming way too much. Naturally everyone's situation is different.

I think it would be better for me to simply state that familial relationships are complex.

Truly any meaningful relationship has its complexities, but that added significance of blood or legal bond--whatever it is that claims you to your understood family unit--makes the complexities that much stronger, that much more loaded with implications and expectations.

What does it mean to be a father? What can you expect as someone's child?

I love the manner in which Royal Tenenbaums goes about exploring these familial relationships. Obviously it's a movie, and thus their family and story is quite extraordinary, but the basic elements of real, imperfect, human relationships are still very much present.

It's no secret I'm quite the fan of Mr. Anderson's style of film, and Tenenbaums is no exception. The visual details, the clever, surprising dialogue ("You heard me, Coltrane!")....I laugh out loud at this film, only to find myself tearing-up by the end.

And who doesn't enjoy just a good redemption story? Seeing someone able to change, or manage to redeem him/herself before it's "too late," always gives me just a little more hope for humanity. Hell, even just seeing someone make an effort at all is lovely.

But then if that same redemption story is narrated by Alec Baldwin?! Truly, what more can you ask for?!...

It's just an excellent film. Period. And don't even get me started on the soundtrack!!

I'm sure you've seen it, but if you haven't, obviously you should, if for no other reason than to see the creepy paintings that hang in Eli Cash's home. Or to see another cameo from eldest Wilson brother, Andrew. Or to hear Bill Murray say, "Where's that red one gonna go?"...



MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING: 5 out of 5 stars
Maybe save a little bit of your sandwich for Buckely? :)




Up next...
The Third Wheel

"It's been another kind of time"

Soul Survivors
2001
Day 278

When you first turn on a DVD of Soul Survivors, you'd better be prepared to make a very difficult decision:

Reality, Dream, or Nightmare.

It took longer for us to decide which path to chose than it did to watch the 10-second long, meaningless introduction that each of these labels describes.

...I'm not even going to pretend like I want to write about this movie. Instead, I will just leave you with my unassembled notes! (Yes, I do take notes.) Plus, I wouldn't dare want to ruin any of the movie's ingenious twists and surprises for you, or something....

As this film marked the second ever meeting of the Luke Wilson Merethon Review Panel, there were plenty of quotable remarks to be heard. Without further ado:

-Reality, Dream, Nightmare?

• We had to look up the differences online. Found out - only a difference of introduction. Nothing to do with actual movie version.
• "Vegetables have hit the floor."
• "I spit out my carrot!"

-Super cheese-y opening titles against a backdrop of simulated rain.

-"Tiny Explosions" - The Presidents of the USA

-"How long did we waste on that opening menu?"

-"Is that dinosaur-girl?"

-"Nobody gets branded and doesn't care..."

-"That was hairy!"

-"I'll go get your pills..." (x 100)

-"Even a dream of life is better than facing death." - Father Jude

-Jenna liked it.

-"So, Hell is a lesbian sex-bathroom in the basement of a church with cars burning outside for eternity?"

-"I think they made Casey Affleck sign a no-nudity clause in his contract."

MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING: 2 out of 5 stars. 
"The best way to look at it is with your eyes closed." ...And with lots of sandwiches.



Up next...The Royal Tenenbuams

"What if you're trying to be something you are?"

Legally Blonde

2001

Day 252

First of all, I've really got to start writing these reviews closer to the time I actually watch these movies! It's going on a couple weeks now since I've watched this one, and though I'd seen it before, I found myself pleasantly surprised, as I'd all but forgotten that it's really quite a great flick.

Sure, it's a little silly, but it's also quite witty and very entertaining. Also entertaining was seeing Matthew Davis--aka VD's Alaric--as the evil ex-boyfriend, Warner. Definitely didn't remember that...

Serendipitously, this movie also happened to pop up in the Merethon just in time for Liz's last day as an L1 (Congrats again, Ms Lizzy!) Especially entertaining was the subsequent drinking-game for every law school or legal jargon inaccuracy. :) We learned a good deal!

We also concluded that CULA is not a real school, and that, for being in the 2000s, some of those outfits looked suspiciously mid-90s... I think we also definitely agreed that the whole "bend & snap" sequence is all a bit much. That scene really just deteriorates pretty quickly.

That aside, though, this movie is pretty much great! Good for a laugh, good for a girls'-night-in. Frankly, it's just good, clean fun.

I've not yet seen the sequel, but luckily, Mr. Wilson awaits us there, too...

MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING: 4 out of 5 stars (an extra star for being surprisingly better than I remembered!)

Sandwiches permitted only with proper documentation (Stuewe v. Collins. 381 U.S. 436 (2011).

"This is like Soul Train's highest honor!"

Day 234
Charlie's Angels
2000

I really had zero desire to watch this movie.

I love that the main characters are strong, intelligent, lovely women, kicking ass and solving crime.....

Still definitely didn't want to see it.

Maybe I just wasn't in the right mood or frame of mind? Or maybe it was just a little too...something...

Or not enough something? Either way, it was definitely an improvement over Bad Seed!

There was definitely a plot. Even a reasonably complex one at that. And then there was the fairly expected "twist." Lots of fun outfits and neat-looking action sequences for our heroines.

Lots of quirky characters, too. Bill Murray--lovely as ever! Tom Green?....Not so much. I guess I have to remember this movie was made back when we'd only heard his shtick 1,000 times....

As for Mr. Wilson, I'd say he's not too far off on this character. He's quite lovely and love-able as the goofy, very naive love-interest to Ms. Diaz's Natalie.

I guess, truly, this movie really accomplished what it seemed to have set out to do; it was passably entertaining.

Not amazing. Not wonderful. Not life-changing. Just bright-colored, fast-moving, boob-filled fluff...

I've never even seen any of the original shows, but I'm apt to believe they were of a similar persuasion. If I really cared enough, I'd try to write something intelligent about women in film, etc., but maybe that's for a different blog...

Anyways, it's ok. Sometimes fluff is ok.

But only just 'ok'....

Also, loved the whole 15 second-long role of eldest Wilson, Andrew, as "Corwin's Driver." And ending the movie with Rod Stewart singing a Jimi Hendrix song?! Nice!

Good effort. Mission accomplished ladies! We'll see you again soon for round 2!

Maybe leave out Tom Green next time, though, ok? Thanks!

MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING: 2 out of 5 stars
The LL Cool J "trick" sorta made me lose my appetite for anything, let alone sandwiches...

Up next...
Legally Blonde

"Jonathon?! That's your name?!"

Day 212
Bad Seed
2000


Well, that'll teach us to get our hopes up about an obscure Luke Wilson movie...

Bad Seed really sounded like it had potential. Like it might be scary, or thrilling. It was really just scary-bad. I think we each ranked it as being among the top 5 worst movies we've ever seen. Ever!! (My apologies to Liz for this being your first introduction to a Merethon screening :)

Truly even Dog Park suddenly seems loveable in the wake of this film. It was like a bad Lifetime movie. And that's coming from a woman who actually enjoys a lot of bad Lifetime movies. It was like a Lifetime movie reject, with "a lot of dead fish. Like--a lot..."

It also seemed to add proof to my theory that Mr. Wilson finds a reason in nearly eeevery film to say "Jeee-sus Christ!" at least once. Every time, with that same crazed intensity in his eyes mirroring the exasperated inflection of this decidedly favorite phrase....

If Kill the Man was the film to make this entire blog worthwhile, then Bad Seed is certainly (so far) the movie that almost makes me sorry to have undertaken this "merethon" at all. I can only hope that we've hit rock bottom here, folks. I hate to tempt fate, but surely it can't get worse than this.

I have to say, though, we did have a pretty great time adding our Mystery Science Theatre-esque commentary throughout. It at least gives you something to do while you're waiting for the movie to just end already! (Please dear gaawd, end!) Oh, but you haaaave to see the ending. Really, really. It's, um, totally worth it...?

Hahah, no. It's not. But if you're going to actually attempt to watch the film, (god knows why), you've really got to hold out for the ending. At least for the "special effects."

Ohh, and don't blink or you might miss the 5 second-long role of Andrew Wilson as "Police Officer."



MERE'S OFFICAL RATING: None. No stars for you. Just terrible!
Sandwiches strongly discouraged. I mean, really, one look at those fish....



Up next...
Charlie's Angels

"He's in a spiritual wheelchair?"

Day 202
Committed
2000


Why yes, I did find the movie poster in Spanish this time...

Ok, I've broken precedence once again and used a quote from a character other than Luke Wilson's from this film. Mostly because, as Jenna so aptly pointed out about 3/4 of the way through Committed, "I really like all the characters in this movie with the exception of Luke Wilson's."

The supporting cast truly makes this movie. They certainly provide the comic relief, if nothing else. Even creepy Casey Affleck (from whose character the title quote is taken and from whom most of the film's top quotes come) is quite entertaining, despite still being his usual, creepy self...

Now, I realize that we've finally made it out of the 90's, but this movie sure feels very much like a throw-back. Definitely on an aesthetic level, and perhaps also by fault of that whole "quest for spirituality" plot, too. There's just something so "90's" about all that...getting lost in the desert and what not.

In any case, I have to admit I enjoyed it. Heather Graham is not my favorite actress, but she's not terrible. And lucky for her, I think the plot and supporting cast were enough to, well, support her and keep the movie watchable.

I really didn't know how it was going to end either. It wasn't completely predictable and contrived. As Jenna also commented, "It comes full circle."

We also both thought writer/director, Lisa Krueger sounded familiar for some reason, but aside from Committed, she's only written and directed two other films, both of which I've never seen or heard of, and produced nothing else (according to Imdb.com) since Committed...However, after scouring the internet a little more, (Imdb fail!) I think she sounds pretty badass and could easily make more of these quirky little films with the best of them. I sort of hope she does, even...

Anyways, I enjoyed this film and definitely think it's worth a look. It's not too heavy, but not entirely soulless either. I mean, it's even got the lead singer of Everclear!

Alright. That's all I've got. Feel free to comment at will, JennaAnn!

MERE'S OFFICIAL RATING: 3 out of 5 stars
A caution regarding sandwiches: Heather Graham's nasty hair will likely make you lose your appetite...

Pretty sure I'm going to have to start doing this more than once a month if I plan to finish in time....

Up next...
Bad Seed